The humanist wedding upholds values such as reason, individual freedom, equality, and tolerance. Popular worldwide, it is gaining increasing interest in Poland. A humanist wedding is an alternative to church and civil ceremonies, although it has no legal power in our country. If so, why have one? For modern couples, it holds personal and symbolic significance. What matters to them is that they make a marriage vow to their partner without the need to involve an official or priest.
Humanist wedding ceremonies are an initiative born thanks to humanist associations worldwide. They were a response to the needs of couples who did not wish to vow before God due to their worldview or, for legal reasons, could not enter into a civil marriage. Humanist weddings in Poland are mainly promoted by the Polish Rationalist Society. The term "humanist" is important here. It emphasizes that in this ceremony the most important aspect is the human (human), i.e., the partner with whom we establish the bond.
The humanist ceremony is secular, meaning it is completely free of religious elements. There is no participation of clergy or known Catholic rites (or those from other religions). An important aspect is also the individuality of this event. The couple has great freedom in personalizing the ceremony. They can choose readings, poems, music, and other elements that reflect their personality and relationship. The humanist wedding focuses on love, respect, empathy, and understanding between the future spouses. In some cases, the humanist ceremony may include elements focusing on spiritual development, reflection on the meaning of life, and the significance of love.
In some countries, a humanist wedding is a legally recognized ceremony, meaning it legalizes the marriage. This happens, for example, in the USA, Norway, Sweden, and Scotland. In the latter, humanist ceremonies and weddings are conducted more frequently than Catholic weddings. Unfortunately, in Poland, humanist weddings have no legal power. This means that after the humanist ceremony, the couple does not acquire marital rights and obligations as per domestic regulations. Nevertheless, the ceremony is chosen by couples who want to make their own vow and emphasize the significance of their relationship. An increasingly common practice in our country is to combine a humanist wedding with a civil one. For many, the latter is too brief a ceremony to highlight the specialness of the day. Remember that the procedure at the registry office lasts only a few minutes. Therefore, many couples decide on a registry office wedding followed by a touching humanist ceremony.
Although the humanist ceremony has no legal power, there are regulations governing some related issues. A humanist wedding cannot be conducted for minors under 18, incapacitated persons, those already married, or individuals related by direct lineage or adoption.
A very important aspect of a humanist wedding is the vow made by the spouses. It is primarily individual and personalized. This means that the partners write it themselves and include the elements most significant to them. Then, they read or recite it during the humanist ceremony. Often, participants, family, and friends also pledge support to the spouses.
Humanist weddings are officiated by a master of ceremonies, also called a celebrant. This is a person prepared to lead and organize such events and who has appropriate experience. They can advise the couple regarding the ceremony's course but are also open to their suggestions. It is very important for the celebrant to meet the future spouses before the wedding to properly lead the rite. They may prepare selected literary texts highlighting the individual character of that couple. Humanist weddings are often chosen by international couples, so most celebrants speak several languages. This facilitates the preparation process and, of course, the ceremony itself.
To emphasize the solemnity and importance of each ceremony, various rituals are introduced. The same applies to the humanist wedding. Nothing prevents the couple, for instance, from exchanging rings or agreeing that their hands be tied with a ribbon during the ceremony. Sometimes, elements characteristic of the culture of one partner or their family’s origin are included. There is great freedom here, and the couple may request a ritual from the culture close to their hearts. A popular element of humanist ceremonies is the lighting of the so-called unity candle.
In most cases, the humanist ceremony is much easier to organize than a civil wedding or a wedding in a Catholic (or other religion’s) rite. First, many administrative matters and necessary procedures, such as premarital courses, formalities, document preparation, form filling, etc., are omitted. Of course, some important aspects must still be managed when organizing a humanist wedding, but they are not associated with as many restrictions.
When choosing the date for a humanist ceremony, we are not dependent on church or registry office schedules. We consider a date convenient for us. The only potential issue might be the availability of a hotel or other venue where the celebration is planned.
The humanist ceremony does not have to take place at a registry office, church, or other sacred site. Therefore, there is great freedom in selecting the venue, which may be a beach, park, forest, or our own garden. In Poland, humanist weddings are often organized in hotels that are happy to accommodate the needs of couples.
The amount spent on a humanist ceremony may be minimal, but it can also reach sums typical for traditional weddings. It all depends on our needs and capabilities. An intimate gathering for close ones, combined, for example, with dinner, won’t be expensive. However, nothing prevents arranging a truly grand humanist wedding in a hotel. You can have a humanist wedding barefoot, in a summer dress on the beach, or in a typical bridal gown. This cost should also be included in the overall budget, along with venue rental, catering, music, decorations, and photography. The fee for the celebrant usually ranges between 1000 and 2000 PLN.
